How to Win in Court
Arguing with judges is like arguing with baseball umpires.
You better know the rules AND HOW TO USE THEM!
Here are a
few rules from the Official Major League Baseball Rulebook:
- A player is not permitted to step or go into a dugout to make a catch.
- A player is permitted to reach into a dugout to make a catch.
- If a player makes a catch outside the dugout and his momentum carries him into the dugout, the catch is allowed as long as the player does not fall in the dugout.
What if one team’s players and coaches don’t know the rules?
Will it do any good to argue with the umpire?
And %#$@&$#*% will only get you thrown out of the park!
To arguey with a baseball umpire or judge in a courtroom, you must know the Rules of Court … and how how to use them.
It’s the bottom of the ninth. Two down. Batter at the plate.
The count is three and two. The batter pops a high foul. You push back your catcher’s mask and dash toward the dugout to make the catch. The ball hits your glove and you trip on the rim of the dugout and fall in. Scrambling to your feet, you climb back out of the dugout, ball in your upraised hand, triumphant grin on your face.
Fans roar fanatic approval from the stands.
But, the scornful look on the umpire’s f
ace and his raspy voice erase your victorious joy.
“But, I caught the ball, ump!”
The player strides purposely toward the umpire, waving a fist, yelling obscenities, and spitting (of course).
Fast behind is the coach, marching menacingly toward the umpire, cap shoved back, fists in the air, also shouting nasties a
nd accusing the umpire of needing a new pair of glasses.
The umpire stands firmly behind the plate, hands planted on his hips, and waits for the verbal onslaught.
“I caught the foul ball. It’s an out!”
“It’s a foul ball. Period!” the umpire insists.
“You must be blind, Ump! It’s an out! Game’s over. We win! You saw me catch
“Maybe not,” the umpire insists, “but Jeeter knows the ground rules! You fell in the dugout. Catch doesn’t count. Get back behind the plate where you belong!”the ball? Jeeter couldn’t do any better!”
“But. But. But.”
Learn the official rules and how to use them … or lose!
End of story!
Learn how to use the rules!
Learn how to use the rules at How to Win in Court